the title is from a song.... yeah. i dont get vampires and bloodsuckers.
anyway, i honestly dont get any love in my life. as hard as i try, i think that God wont let me. its a good thing too because im certainly not ready for a comitment. i dont even know what i like. plus i gotta love myself fully first.
self acceptance is key before love. in order for someone else to love you, one must be comfortable with their own qualities and flaws. everybody has flaws, and everybody has at least one person who hates on them. Its really hard to get used to that fact. i always knew it, but i never saw it until a couple weeks ago, and i have to admit, i felt down. when someone usually criticizes me, it usually doesnt hurt. but when they bring up personal stuff, it can emotionally scar a person. but i got some positive reinforcement. having friends and people around you to tell you that you are beautiful and knowing that people care about you is key, feeling worthless is the worst feeling in the world. it can be a serious feeling. at least one person cares for you, and at least one person hates on you. (my statistics)
I have a couple haters myself. Theres people out there who find it amusing to go out of their way just to make me feel bad, and yes it hurts, but dont let that affect you. Don't even make a comeback to them because that will just make matters worst. In your life, theres gonna be a lot of people who do that to you, but just know that you have people behind you who love you, and will remind you how much of an impact you are in their life.
Also, those friends need to be true friends. Everyone in school has "best friends", "sister-friends", "friends i knew my whole life-friends", and honestly, i get sick when i hear that. Whats the point of a label? there is no point. I just think that its an excuse to share all your secrets to a person who will deceive you one day. All friends will probably turn their back on you. most, not all. I've been through so many friends throughout high school, thinking they'd be my best friend and i can share secrets with, but honestly, its not worth it. Just write it in a blog to millions of anonymous people and you're better off!
Also, if you're a girl, you probably already realized this, or you will at one point. Men are immature. Men of all ages. They are just grown up kids who want their freedom and nothing else. I've seen so many relationships go down the drain because of a guy's immaturity. I definitely am going to save myself the heartbreak and wait for the right guy to come around.
final lesson for today, dont force anything. if it was meant to be, let it be. if it werent meant to be, dont push it! Its not worth the effort and the hurt you will face later on.
waiting on love is hard, but its worth it in the end. you'll thank yourself later on.
peace and love
xoxo
p.s. sign the petition: https://secure.avaaz.org/en/libya_no_fly_zone_1/?r=act
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