Hey guys, Ramadan Mubarak!
i hope you all have a blessed month and take this month to the fullest. everyone should give up at least one thing, one bad habit that you have that you want to get rid of. Alhamdillah you survived another year, and God is giving you this opportunity. I must admit, i have a bad habit of using bad language, so im going to stop that. and i will also stop talking ill about people, even though i dont do that too often.. i also want to give up the internet, or at least cut down inshallah.
The creative plan this year is to make a dish each day for my family. ill take a picture of it every day and post it up here inshallah.
im looking up recepies right now, actually! if you have ideas, let me know! thanks!
Ramadan Kareem. have a happy and joyous month
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
“If you wish to experience peace, provide peace for another.”
said the 14th Dahli lama, Tenzin Gyatso.
tonight i thought i had nothing to blog about. i thought today was an uneventful day and nothing exciting happened. although for the majority of the day was, the last few hours of the day was taken up by watching a beautiful movie. i dont come across too many movies that change the way i feel. this is an exception. thanks to my wonderful cousin who researched and came across this movie and was kind enough to share it with me, i can say without hesitance, it changed me in a deep way. may God grant her a big reward. this movie is called "promises". it is a documentary on the children of palestine and israel, and their view of the conflict going on in palestine/israel. if you dont know, i am a Palestinian. i am a 2nd generation american. my grandparents moved here from palestine for the opportunity and freedom that america offers. and i must say, i had much depreciation for this country until i realized it was more of the goverment that i didnt appreciate rather than the country itself. if it werent for america's freedom, i wouldnt be writing this right now. and i thank God for this. anyway, i should give a little background on the story before i tell you about this movie. in the 3 major religions, Jerusalem is the holy land. in each of the holybooks, it is said that the land is for them. both israelis and palestinians lived in harmony splitting the land in half, and sharing. when 1948 hit, israelis took over, and palestinians sought refuge in camps. to this day, israel has occupied all of the land with soldiers everywhere. there are check points where israelis are free to pass but palestinians have to go through a search process that can make a trip that is a mere 15 minutes take hours. the soldiers check for anything harmful, even though 99.999 percent of the time, they're harmless. it is said that the checkpoints are used to humiliate the palestinians. they have no choice but to listen though. they are held against their will with guns pointed in their faces and at their loved ones; children included. there is 2 sides to this story, though. you hear it through this movie. with each side, you can hear the anger and hate in their voices, but there is an innocence about them, and a part of them that makes them want to know of the other side. that is natural for any naieve child. thier innocence causes them to question the situation, be curious. when the palestinian children met the israeli children, it brought tears to my eyes. for the whole day, they got along, told eachother sides of the stories, and played. i thought, this is it. all we have to do is bring together the people, and things will naturally work out! but heres the thing. its not that simple. with the palestinians and israelis who lived in that land thier whole lives, its only natural to hate on eachother. and its sad to say that for the rest of their lives, they will live with that hate in their heart. im sure in both religons they say how hate isnt ideal., i know in Islam it is mentioned many times. Islam means peace.
but i was thinking, maybe, just maybe if our generation would grow up with more of an open mind than the people older than us, then maybe we can work things out. peace is the only answer. if we keep butting heads like this, no one will win. we need to teach our children nothing but peace. hate is unhealthy. its not the way to resolve the conflict. itll make matters worse. the path we are going down right now is not the way to free palestine, or satisfy israel.
i grew up to hate all jews. yes. you heard me. my parents engraved it in my brain. luckily, growing up, especially this past year, meeting jews and people of other religons made me realize that we all are living for the same thing. we all have the same purpose in life. we just want to make it through this world. no one has genetic evilness in their hearts. at the end of the day, everyone wants to be home with their families, safe and sound. why cant we all do this with peace? why is war the answer? why cant we be civil? why are we just watching this awful conflict happen before our eyes? why cant we put an end to this and all coexist? is it really that bad tolerating someone with different religous views? we do it here in America. i feel like as the country that we are, so fortuante and strong, we should be helping with conflicts all around. the government promotes volunteering and helping one another, why cant they practice what they preach? God willing there is a solution to this problem. i am willing to share homelands with other people. this isnt our earth. we dont own anything in this world. God put us here to live our own lives and soon we will go. this is God's earth. no one decides whos terrortory is whos. so what now? am i going to forget about this movie after i wrote this long blog? am i just going to go on with my life? no, i will help make a differnce. i will try. i know i wont do much as one person, but if you help me, maybe we can come up with a solution to this conflict.
with every problem, there is a solution. there has to be. otherwise the problem shouldnt be.
http://www.moviesonlineathome.com/external.php?title=Promises&url=aHR0cDovL3ZpZGVvLmdvb2dsZS5jb20vdmlkZW9wbGF5P2RvY2lkPTE3MTY0ODk1ODAxMjE3NTUwMjMj&domain=Z29vZ2xlLmNvbQ%3D%3D&loggedin=0
peace
tonight i thought i had nothing to blog about. i thought today was an uneventful day and nothing exciting happened. although for the majority of the day was, the last few hours of the day was taken up by watching a beautiful movie. i dont come across too many movies that change the way i feel. this is an exception. thanks to my wonderful cousin who researched and came across this movie and was kind enough to share it with me, i can say without hesitance, it changed me in a deep way. may God grant her a big reward. this movie is called "promises". it is a documentary on the children of palestine and israel, and their view of the conflict going on in palestine/israel. if you dont know, i am a Palestinian. i am a 2nd generation american. my grandparents moved here from palestine for the opportunity and freedom that america offers. and i must say, i had much depreciation for this country until i realized it was more of the goverment that i didnt appreciate rather than the country itself. if it werent for america's freedom, i wouldnt be writing this right now. and i thank God for this. anyway, i should give a little background on the story before i tell you about this movie. in the 3 major religions, Jerusalem is the holy land. in each of the holybooks, it is said that the land is for them. both israelis and palestinians lived in harmony splitting the land in half, and sharing. when 1948 hit, israelis took over, and palestinians sought refuge in camps. to this day, israel has occupied all of the land with soldiers everywhere. there are check points where israelis are free to pass but palestinians have to go through a search process that can make a trip that is a mere 15 minutes take hours. the soldiers check for anything harmful, even though 99.999 percent of the time, they're harmless. it is said that the checkpoints are used to humiliate the palestinians. they have no choice but to listen though. they are held against their will with guns pointed in their faces and at their loved ones; children included. there is 2 sides to this story, though. you hear it through this movie. with each side, you can hear the anger and hate in their voices, but there is an innocence about them, and a part of them that makes them want to know of the other side. that is natural for any naieve child. thier innocence causes them to question the situation, be curious. when the palestinian children met the israeli children, it brought tears to my eyes. for the whole day, they got along, told eachother sides of the stories, and played. i thought, this is it. all we have to do is bring together the people, and things will naturally work out! but heres the thing. its not that simple. with the palestinians and israelis who lived in that land thier whole lives, its only natural to hate on eachother. and its sad to say that for the rest of their lives, they will live with that hate in their heart. im sure in both religons they say how hate isnt ideal., i know in Islam it is mentioned many times. Islam means peace.
but i was thinking, maybe, just maybe if our generation would grow up with more of an open mind than the people older than us, then maybe we can work things out. peace is the only answer. if we keep butting heads like this, no one will win. we need to teach our children nothing but peace. hate is unhealthy. its not the way to resolve the conflict. itll make matters worse. the path we are going down right now is not the way to free palestine, or satisfy israel.
i grew up to hate all jews. yes. you heard me. my parents engraved it in my brain. luckily, growing up, especially this past year, meeting jews and people of other religons made me realize that we all are living for the same thing. we all have the same purpose in life. we just want to make it through this world. no one has genetic evilness in their hearts. at the end of the day, everyone wants to be home with their families, safe and sound. why cant we all do this with peace? why is war the answer? why cant we be civil? why are we just watching this awful conflict happen before our eyes? why cant we put an end to this and all coexist? is it really that bad tolerating someone with different religous views? we do it here in America. i feel like as the country that we are, so fortuante and strong, we should be helping with conflicts all around. the government promotes volunteering and helping one another, why cant they practice what they preach? God willing there is a solution to this problem. i am willing to share homelands with other people. this isnt our earth. we dont own anything in this world. God put us here to live our own lives and soon we will go. this is God's earth. no one decides whos terrortory is whos. so what now? am i going to forget about this movie after i wrote this long blog? am i just going to go on with my life? no, i will help make a differnce. i will try. i know i wont do much as one person, but if you help me, maybe we can come up with a solution to this conflict.
with every problem, there is a solution. there has to be. otherwise the problem shouldnt be.
http://www.moviesonlineathome.com/external.php?title=Promises&url=aHR0cDovL3ZpZGVvLmdvb2dsZS5jb20vdmlkZW9wbGF5P2RvY2lkPTE3MTY0ODk1ODAxMjE3NTUwMjMj&domain=Z29vZ2xlLmNvbQ%3D%3D&loggedin=0
peace
Monday, July 25, 2011
you get what you deserve
after living through one of the best summers i've had, i can strongly stand by my title of this post. since i am such a spiritual person, i believe in God and all his powers and tricks. i believe he controls the karma in this world. if one does good, one will recieve good. if one does bad, one will recieve bad. lately, i've been striving to be the best person i can be. this summer was all about finding out who i really was before college starts. i wanted to take some time out from the world, and only focus on myself, because these years of my life are supposed to be for finding myself, then my focus moves to my significant other, and then kids, ect.
although the summer isnt over, i can say that i found who i was and what is important to me in life. my family. no matter what, they will always be there. that could be both a good or a bad thing, but why not make it a good thing?why not brush away all the grudges and anger and just be happy together, after all, you WILL be seeing eachother for the rest of your lives. friends on the other hand, are a different story. they are easy to remove from the picture. im not saying that you should, but if you do have a worthy friend, treat em like family. anyway, i've been nonstop focusing on family. i've been helping my mom with a lot around the house. i dont get much appreciation and commendment, but i dont mind. its my duty as the only other girl in the house. lately my parents have been a little more open about things though. My dad would randomly tell me, "i appreciate you", and "thank you for everything you do". little things like that can go a long way with a person. a simple thank you means so much to the person. i used to think telling my mom thank you wasnt a big deal, but after experiencing hard labor and decipline, all you want is a little appreciation. and because i helped so much, my parents have been rewarding me with differnt things. i think the most important thing is their trust. no one else matters more than your parents. Gaining their trust is probably the best thing to do because as one grows up, they are granted allowence to do things they want, also they are more open to you. just do as they say without complaint, and you'll be on the right track. also, if one does good for their house, parents, family, community, or anything like that, nothing but good karma will come your way. everything will eventually fall into place. you are being looked down upon, so just know you ALWAYS get what you deserve.
although the summer isnt over, i can say that i found who i was and what is important to me in life. my family. no matter what, they will always be there. that could be both a good or a bad thing, but why not make it a good thing?why not brush away all the grudges and anger and just be happy together, after all, you WILL be seeing eachother for the rest of your lives. friends on the other hand, are a different story. they are easy to remove from the picture. im not saying that you should, but if you do have a worthy friend, treat em like family. anyway, i've been nonstop focusing on family. i've been helping my mom with a lot around the house. i dont get much appreciation and commendment, but i dont mind. its my duty as the only other girl in the house. lately my parents have been a little more open about things though. My dad would randomly tell me, "i appreciate you", and "thank you for everything you do". little things like that can go a long way with a person. a simple thank you means so much to the person. i used to think telling my mom thank you wasnt a big deal, but after experiencing hard labor and decipline, all you want is a little appreciation. and because i helped so much, my parents have been rewarding me with differnt things. i think the most important thing is their trust. no one else matters more than your parents. Gaining their trust is probably the best thing to do because as one grows up, they are granted allowence to do things they want, also they are more open to you. just do as they say without complaint, and you'll be on the right track. also, if one does good for their house, parents, family, community, or anything like that, nothing but good karma will come your way. everything will eventually fall into place. you are being looked down upon, so just know you ALWAYS get what you deserve.
Sunday, July 24, 2011
aspire to inspire
To inspire. What does it mean to do such a thing? it can mean anything from someone planting the slightest idea in your mind, or someone who infuences you in a major way. One doesnt have to be amazing in order to inspire. it can be as simple as teaching someone a dance move so they can do it at the next big wedding or party. it can possibly be a person telling a story on how they volunteered somewhere and helped save a family. it can be someone you dont know walking down the street in an amazing outfit that you wish you had guts to wear. how ever you are inspired, when you get that feeling, its all the same. its like a mini epiphany. its like a small enlightenment. and that inspiration turns into an idea which turns into actions, which turns into something amazing. Steven Spielburg didnt become amazing through his own thoughts. he was inspired by the things around him, much like many other artists and so on. but when one doenst have inspiration, and is forced into a situation, its quite possibly the most frustrating thing ever.
i went to the fabric store today because something came over me to start my clothing line back up. so i went and i had no idea what i was going to get. it wasnt like project runway where i was gonna go straight to what i wanted. i didnt know what i wanted. so i just looked around. and looked some more. and even more. its not that i was uninspired, it was just that i was unprepared. i didnt have the slightest idea of what i wanted. it was so frustrating. i tried picking out fabrics that went together. but i would second guess myself. so i finally settled for brown fabric and a piece of lace. i wasnt happy but i wasnt about to leave with nothing. when i got home, i didnt know what to do with myself. probably the most frustrating 60 minutes of my life. so i went to eat and watch some you-tube videos. boy did that give me great ideas. even though they're the very basic how-to videos, i still learned so many tricks. i loved it. there is no shame in looking back. Denzel Washington still takes Acting classes, so why cant we learn more? im so glad i did. so i ran to my room, and six hours later, i came out with a cardigan! it was a pretty awesome experience.
bottom line is, you cant go through life thinking you can pull stuff and not think to the future first. in order to make decisions, always think about how it will affect you in the future. plan something out, sketch out a design before you pick the fabric. its not easy doing it the other way around, lemme tell you. i mean that figuratively and literally. and lastly, if you are put in a weird position, just roll with the punches. just go with it. dont sit there in grief and regrets. make the best of every situation. i cant stress that enough.
some things are ment to be, but it doesnt mean that it has to suck!
stay true to yourselves, follow even your wildest dreams, and smile at yourself in the mirror.
peace
i went to the fabric store today because something came over me to start my clothing line back up. so i went and i had no idea what i was going to get. it wasnt like project runway where i was gonna go straight to what i wanted. i didnt know what i wanted. so i just looked around. and looked some more. and even more. its not that i was uninspired, it was just that i was unprepared. i didnt have the slightest idea of what i wanted. it was so frustrating. i tried picking out fabrics that went together. but i would second guess myself. so i finally settled for brown fabric and a piece of lace. i wasnt happy but i wasnt about to leave with nothing. when i got home, i didnt know what to do with myself. probably the most frustrating 60 minutes of my life. so i went to eat and watch some you-tube videos. boy did that give me great ideas. even though they're the very basic how-to videos, i still learned so many tricks. i loved it. there is no shame in looking back. Denzel Washington still takes Acting classes, so why cant we learn more? im so glad i did. so i ran to my room, and six hours later, i came out with a cardigan! it was a pretty awesome experience.
bottom line is, you cant go through life thinking you can pull stuff and not think to the future first. in order to make decisions, always think about how it will affect you in the future. plan something out, sketch out a design before you pick the fabric. its not easy doing it the other way around, lemme tell you. i mean that figuratively and literally. and lastly, if you are put in a weird position, just roll with the punches. just go with it. dont sit there in grief and regrets. make the best of every situation. i cant stress that enough.
some things are ment to be, but it doesnt mean that it has to suck!
stay true to yourselves, follow even your wildest dreams, and smile at yourself in the mirror.
peace
Saturday, July 23, 2011
all dressed up and no where to go...
okay, well im not actually dressed up. and i really do have no where to go. at this point in my life, i am at a weird age. im at the age where i should be getting more freedom, but im still controlled by my parents. just an awkward situation overall. but the thing is with my life, since i am arabic and muslim, its not encouraged for girls to go out all the time; well at least culturally its not excepted for us. so, i stay home more than the normal american teen. no, i dont have a boyfriend or anything like that. i know i may talk about boys a lot but to tell you the truth, dont laugh, but we dont primarily look at a boy like "ooh, id date him" or something along those lines. we think "is he husband material?" hahah ok u can laugh, but its true. ask any girl. if she denys it, she's lying. i think a lot of girls think like that actually when we hit that age.
I've always fantisized about love, having the perfect man and all that good stuff. the one burden weighing me down is the fact that i have to get at least my bachelors degree in order to start "looking". i guess a little before then but still, its a long time. people are always telling me, "enjoy it! you're young! you'll hate being married" i think that the older generation hates being married because they didnt do it right. they didnt find the men they actually had feelings for; at least the women in our family. a man just married a woman if she knew how to cook food and was decent looking. sad. i know. but thats how it goes. im hoping to find that someone who doesnt think like that, although i can cook and, im not bad looking if i say so myself.
i believe the more patient a woman is in waiting for her man to arrive, the better he will be. i hope its true because i've been waiting and i will be waiting. that thought always gives me comfort. a couple minutes ago, before i wrote this blog, i was acutally thinking how much i have a boring life right now and seeing everyones statuses and tweets how they're all going party and out with their boyfriends, i coudlnt help but be jealous. then i thought, in a couple years, God willing, i will be able to do all those things i wanted to do with someone i love and my parents acceptance. i really cant wait. untill then, one can only wait for their prince charming. hah. yeah. lemme get through my first year of college before i do the thinking. i will be in my room sewing and making clothes, trying to start my career in fashion. yeah, thats what ill be doing.
God be with you all, including all my cousins in the Arab countries fighting for freedom, and norway. Allah be with those families inshAllah.
Peace
I've always fantisized about love, having the perfect man and all that good stuff. the one burden weighing me down is the fact that i have to get at least my bachelors degree in order to start "looking". i guess a little before then but still, its a long time. people are always telling me, "enjoy it! you're young! you'll hate being married" i think that the older generation hates being married because they didnt do it right. they didnt find the men they actually had feelings for; at least the women in our family. a man just married a woman if she knew how to cook food and was decent looking. sad. i know. but thats how it goes. im hoping to find that someone who doesnt think like that, although i can cook and, im not bad looking if i say so myself.
i believe the more patient a woman is in waiting for her man to arrive, the better he will be. i hope its true because i've been waiting and i will be waiting. that thought always gives me comfort. a couple minutes ago, before i wrote this blog, i was acutally thinking how much i have a boring life right now and seeing everyones statuses and tweets how they're all going party and out with their boyfriends, i coudlnt help but be jealous. then i thought, in a couple years, God willing, i will be able to do all those things i wanted to do with someone i love and my parents acceptance. i really cant wait. untill then, one can only wait for their prince charming. hah. yeah. lemme get through my first year of college before i do the thinking. i will be in my room sewing and making clothes, trying to start my career in fashion. yeah, thats what ill be doing.
God be with you all, including all my cousins in the Arab countries fighting for freedom, and norway. Allah be with those families inshAllah.
Peace
Friday, July 22, 2011
im baaaaaaaack! and here to stay :D
Its been a loooong couple of months but im back for good. Here i go, opening my big ass mouth again.
nothing has been going on in my life AT ALL. besides the fact that i am taking summer classes and just doing house duties as the 18 year old sister/daughter that i am. i dont mind it, its just that i dont see any of the people i want to see anymore. my family needs me though, and thats most important. So here i am, on blogger (no offense<3) on a friday night, drinking my hot cup of sleepy time tea. i guess i dont mind right now but while everyone is out having a life, this is how i live mine. what a poor girl, you may think. nah, im used to it, i always reply. i really dont mind. if we all went out and did the same things, drunk the same beer, partied at the same club, life would be pretty freaking boring if you ask me. we need some cool people in this world who dont need to do that kinda stuff to have a good life. i would MUCH rather be at the local coffee shop sippin on something hot and having a good conversation with a few of my friends than sippin on some spiked cup of 7 UP. just sayin, iknow how it is people. im not that sheltered.
so, one of the high lights in my life is school. fun i know. im currently taking a speech class at the local college. the class consists of people of all ages, which makes me feel so cool. i cant lie. the weird part about this is that im just now starting my first year of college and it feels like i started over. it feels like im in high school alllll over again. eeeek. i dont wanna even think about early high school right now. i feel inferior to every one and i feel like i should stay out of everyones way. i def did not feel that when i was a senior in high school. i felt like i was on top of the world. i felt like i was the Blair Woldorf of the school, even though i was far from it. Any way, i hope its just because its my first class and i am anxious. i found all this confidence in highschool, i just hope it doesnt go to waste!
Also in school, i realized that men really dont change. Soccer boy, a quite striking young man who happens to be Arabic, like me :), caught my eye the first day of class. uh oh, i thought to myself, until i saw what a doucher this guy was. soccer boy had earings, an armani exchange shirt, skinny jeans, and a pair of the annoying vans that every white boy owns. in case you didnt know, thats the definition of a doucher. i dont even know if a doucher is a word. do men ever grow up? if a man 2 years my senior is still dressing like this, and texting his whitey tidey girlfriend, and still never got the hint that he needs to start behaving, will he ever get the hint???!!! i really hope he does. are there any good men in the world??!!?!?! im finding that hard to believe. College is about to be another loooonnggg 4 years.
nothing has been going on in my life AT ALL. besides the fact that i am taking summer classes and just doing house duties as the 18 year old sister/daughter that i am. i dont mind it, its just that i dont see any of the people i want to see anymore. my family needs me though, and thats most important. So here i am, on blogger (no offense<3) on a friday night, drinking my hot cup of sleepy time tea. i guess i dont mind right now but while everyone is out having a life, this is how i live mine. what a poor girl, you may think. nah, im used to it, i always reply. i really dont mind. if we all went out and did the same things, drunk the same beer, partied at the same club, life would be pretty freaking boring if you ask me. we need some cool people in this world who dont need to do that kinda stuff to have a good life. i would MUCH rather be at the local coffee shop sippin on something hot and having a good conversation with a few of my friends than sippin on some spiked cup of 7 UP. just sayin, iknow how it is people. im not that sheltered.
so, one of the high lights in my life is school. fun i know. im currently taking a speech class at the local college. the class consists of people of all ages, which makes me feel so cool. i cant lie. the weird part about this is that im just now starting my first year of college and it feels like i started over. it feels like im in high school alllll over again. eeeek. i dont wanna even think about early high school right now. i feel inferior to every one and i feel like i should stay out of everyones way. i def did not feel that when i was a senior in high school. i felt like i was on top of the world. i felt like i was the Blair Woldorf of the school, even though i was far from it. Any way, i hope its just because its my first class and i am anxious. i found all this confidence in highschool, i just hope it doesnt go to waste!
Also in school, i realized that men really dont change. Soccer boy, a quite striking young man who happens to be Arabic, like me :), caught my eye the first day of class. uh oh, i thought to myself, until i saw what a doucher this guy was. soccer boy had earings, an armani exchange shirt, skinny jeans, and a pair of the annoying vans that every white boy owns. in case you didnt know, thats the definition of a doucher. i dont even know if a doucher is a word. do men ever grow up? if a man 2 years my senior is still dressing like this, and texting his whitey tidey girlfriend, and still never got the hint that he needs to start behaving, will he ever get the hint???!!! i really hope he does. are there any good men in the world??!!?!?! im finding that hard to believe. College is about to be another loooonnggg 4 years.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
When i wake up, you're not there....
We all have a "best friend" who we confide in, and share all of our secrets with. We can be ourselves in front of them and say things we normally wouldnt say in front of anyone else. Those people are the best. But how do you really know they aren't cheating you out? How do you know if they're not just taking advantage of your nice-ness? You don't. Ive been through so many of those "best friends" and i learned that you gotta be your own best friend sometimes. You got to trust yourself to keep your own secrets in and have some alone time to yourself to discover who you really are and what you really want out of life. You would never cheat yourself out, but another girl who you just got into a fight with would want to. Just be careful who you trust. Even if its your boyfriend or husband; there are just some things you keep to yourself. Dont trust absolutely everything you hear. Thats all i gotta say.
Thinking of you overseas... fight til you get freedom!
Thinking of you overseas... fight til you get freedom!
Friday, March 11, 2011
love, i dont get enough of it. all i get are these vampires and bloodsuckers
the title is from a song.... yeah. i dont get vampires and bloodsuckers.
anyway, i honestly dont get any love in my life. as hard as i try, i think that God wont let me. its a good thing too because im certainly not ready for a comitment. i dont even know what i like. plus i gotta love myself fully first.
self acceptance is key before love. in order for someone else to love you, one must be comfortable with their own qualities and flaws. everybody has flaws, and everybody has at least one person who hates on them. Its really hard to get used to that fact. i always knew it, but i never saw it until a couple weeks ago, and i have to admit, i felt down. when someone usually criticizes me, it usually doesnt hurt. but when they bring up personal stuff, it can emotionally scar a person. but i got some positive reinforcement. having friends and people around you to tell you that you are beautiful and knowing that people care about you is key, feeling worthless is the worst feeling in the world. it can be a serious feeling. at least one person cares for you, and at least one person hates on you. (my statistics)
I have a couple haters myself. Theres people out there who find it amusing to go out of their way just to make me feel bad, and yes it hurts, but dont let that affect you. Don't even make a comeback to them because that will just make matters worst. In your life, theres gonna be a lot of people who do that to you, but just know that you have people behind you who love you, and will remind you how much of an impact you are in their life.
Also, those friends need to be true friends. Everyone in school has "best friends", "sister-friends", "friends i knew my whole life-friends", and honestly, i get sick when i hear that. Whats the point of a label? there is no point. I just think that its an excuse to share all your secrets to a person who will deceive you one day. All friends will probably turn their back on you. most, not all. I've been through so many friends throughout high school, thinking they'd be my best friend and i can share secrets with, but honestly, its not worth it. Just write it in a blog to millions of anonymous people and you're better off!
Also, if you're a girl, you probably already realized this, or you will at one point. Men are immature. Men of all ages. They are just grown up kids who want their freedom and nothing else. I've seen so many relationships go down the drain because of a guy's immaturity. I definitely am going to save myself the heartbreak and wait for the right guy to come around.
final lesson for today, dont force anything. if it was meant to be, let it be. if it werent meant to be, dont push it! Its not worth the effort and the hurt you will face later on.
waiting on love is hard, but its worth it in the end. you'll thank yourself later on.
peace and love
xoxo
p.s. sign the petition: https://secure.avaaz.org/en/libya_no_fly_zone_1/?r=act
anyway, i honestly dont get any love in my life. as hard as i try, i think that God wont let me. its a good thing too because im certainly not ready for a comitment. i dont even know what i like. plus i gotta love myself fully first.
self acceptance is key before love. in order for someone else to love you, one must be comfortable with their own qualities and flaws. everybody has flaws, and everybody has at least one person who hates on them. Its really hard to get used to that fact. i always knew it, but i never saw it until a couple weeks ago, and i have to admit, i felt down. when someone usually criticizes me, it usually doesnt hurt. but when they bring up personal stuff, it can emotionally scar a person. but i got some positive reinforcement. having friends and people around you to tell you that you are beautiful and knowing that people care about you is key, feeling worthless is the worst feeling in the world. it can be a serious feeling. at least one person cares for you, and at least one person hates on you. (my statistics)
I have a couple haters myself. Theres people out there who find it amusing to go out of their way just to make me feel bad, and yes it hurts, but dont let that affect you. Don't even make a comeback to them because that will just make matters worst. In your life, theres gonna be a lot of people who do that to you, but just know that you have people behind you who love you, and will remind you how much of an impact you are in their life.
Also, those friends need to be true friends. Everyone in school has "best friends", "sister-friends", "friends i knew my whole life-friends", and honestly, i get sick when i hear that. Whats the point of a label? there is no point. I just think that its an excuse to share all your secrets to a person who will deceive you one day. All friends will probably turn their back on you. most, not all. I've been through so many friends throughout high school, thinking they'd be my best friend and i can share secrets with, but honestly, its not worth it. Just write it in a blog to millions of anonymous people and you're better off!
Also, if you're a girl, you probably already realized this, or you will at one point. Men are immature. Men of all ages. They are just grown up kids who want their freedom and nothing else. I've seen so many relationships go down the drain because of a guy's immaturity. I definitely am going to save myself the heartbreak and wait for the right guy to come around.
final lesson for today, dont force anything. if it was meant to be, let it be. if it werent meant to be, dont push it! Its not worth the effort and the hurt you will face later on.
waiting on love is hard, but its worth it in the end. you'll thank yourself later on.
peace and love
xoxo
p.s. sign the petition: https://secure.avaaz.org/en/libya_no_fly_zone_1/?r=act
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
dreamin with a broken heart
that last post was bizzare... excuse me on that.
i officially came to the conclusion that i dont know what i wanna do with my life... theres so much with the economy, money, whether im gonna be successful, its really hard. i heard its not exactly the best choice to be a teacher because the benefits are gonna slowly fade as the years go on, and there will be no jobs. i dont want to be dependant on anyone but myself, so i really need to find a job i can enjoy yet make good money.
why cant i just follow my dreams and travel the world and design for a living? why cant life be that easy? why cant i decide what i want to do and BAM im there! i actually gotta work for it... imagine that. i have no connections, and dont know the first thing about making it in the fashion world. i really dont wanna be average, and just a housewife. i want to leave a legacy and PROVE to everyone that i am somebody. thats my ultimate life goal.
i really cant wait til i leave highschool so i can finally see that i dont have to be stuck in routine all the time and i can do my own thing... and my future is near. people always tell me "enjoy your youth", but if i my parents keep me trapped up like this, how do they expect me to have any fun?? my parents even tell me to have fun as a kid... well parents, you dont let me do anything, so that kinda ruins the fun. but i am not here to complain. i am here to make my dreams come true. my cousin asked me why i cant just be a fashion designer... i just laughed. i wish it were that easy. my parents would never look at me again, my extended family as well, i would have no place to turn because i am so dependant on my family, because they made it that way by not letting me have a job or step in the outside world. i wish i could put myself in other peoples shoes for a day just to see what its like to have all that responsibility. I guess thats the price i pay for being an arab female teenager. i cant wait til i run my own life, with my partner by my side. thats really what i look forward to the most. i got a while though...
until then...i got to go to sleep!
goodnight, and peace around the worrrrrldddddddd :)
i officially came to the conclusion that i dont know what i wanna do with my life... theres so much with the economy, money, whether im gonna be successful, its really hard. i heard its not exactly the best choice to be a teacher because the benefits are gonna slowly fade as the years go on, and there will be no jobs. i dont want to be dependant on anyone but myself, so i really need to find a job i can enjoy yet make good money.
why cant i just follow my dreams and travel the world and design for a living? why cant life be that easy? why cant i decide what i want to do and BAM im there! i actually gotta work for it... imagine that. i have no connections, and dont know the first thing about making it in the fashion world. i really dont wanna be average, and just a housewife. i want to leave a legacy and PROVE to everyone that i am somebody. thats my ultimate life goal.
i really cant wait til i leave highschool so i can finally see that i dont have to be stuck in routine all the time and i can do my own thing... and my future is near. people always tell me "enjoy your youth", but if i my parents keep me trapped up like this, how do they expect me to have any fun?? my parents even tell me to have fun as a kid... well parents, you dont let me do anything, so that kinda ruins the fun. but i am not here to complain. i am here to make my dreams come true. my cousin asked me why i cant just be a fashion designer... i just laughed. i wish it were that easy. my parents would never look at me again, my extended family as well, i would have no place to turn because i am so dependant on my family, because they made it that way by not letting me have a job or step in the outside world. i wish i could put myself in other peoples shoes for a day just to see what its like to have all that responsibility. I guess thats the price i pay for being an arab female teenager. i cant wait til i run my own life, with my partner by my side. thats really what i look forward to the most. i got a while though...
until then...i got to go to sleep!
goodnight, and peace around the worrrrrldddddddd :)
Monday, March 7, 2011
i wrote this on my phone so its gonna seem a little weird. but here i go venting to u guys
the lesson learned today was not to let anyone take over your life to the point whwere they determinewhether youre happy or not. i made that mistake... youd think id learn the first time... or the second time... or the fifth time... or the hundreth time... i cant keep falling easy like this......the lewow, ive been focusing on the wrong stuff for the past few days. its like i as trying to force something that wasnt gonna even exist. i completely wasted my time and energy just even thinking about the subject... i hate that i did that. it did absolutely nothing in return. i would percieve something amazing in the future over one small thing. give me an inch, i take a mile. just because one small thing happened doesnt mean it means anything major... and i gotta realize that when im picking friends, lovers and trustworthy people. its really misleading to urge a person on like that then let it go nowhere. like that whole week was a waste of my time. ive done this so many times its not even funny.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
when i grow up, i wanna be FAMOUS, i wanna be a STAR, i wanna be in MOVIES
no, i really dont want to be any of those things i mentioned in my title. im just a little oscar-crazy from just watching the academy awards. Its so inspiring seeing those people on stage, and knowing that the next generation, i will be growing up with those people, and i might even know them! Theres some people i know who have some real talent and i could definetly see them making it in the film industry.
but, i must say, i do want to be famous. for the right things, of course. I want to make the most beautiful clothes for the world to see. its going to take some work of course considering the fashion industry is hard to make. but i really want to prove myself. a couple weeks ago, me and a friend were talking about our future, and i mentioned how i want to move to NY, study fashion and get famous. in the background i heard someone laugh at me... it didnt bother me. It just added more fuel to my fire set in my heart and added to the drive to prove to people that im gonna be somebody some day.
a lot of people my age say all sort of things like, oh, i want to be a film director, but they dont even know the first thing about it! im actually putting effort toward my dream. i stay up sewing designs, practice drawing, and never stop dreaming of the day i hit success.
i really truly want to make it in this industry. to prove to everyone who said i couldnt, and to everyone who said i could, and most importantly, to myself.
the hard part is that i dont know where to start. this is not a career path that is accepted in our culture. i am going to school to become a teacher. but i want to be more than that. i want to be more than average. i want to get educated but i want to LIVE. i dont know.. maybe ill start a new trend in my culture... ultimate success.
i need to give this more thought. time for bed!
(praying for protesters all over the world. FREEDOM IS NOT FAR. AND PALESTINE, YOU ARE NEXT. YOU HAVE OUR SUPPORT)
Salam.
but, i must say, i do want to be famous. for the right things, of course. I want to make the most beautiful clothes for the world to see. its going to take some work of course considering the fashion industry is hard to make. but i really want to prove myself. a couple weeks ago, me and a friend were talking about our future, and i mentioned how i want to move to NY, study fashion and get famous. in the background i heard someone laugh at me... it didnt bother me. It just added more fuel to my fire set in my heart and added to the drive to prove to people that im gonna be somebody some day.
a lot of people my age say all sort of things like, oh, i want to be a film director, but they dont even know the first thing about it! im actually putting effort toward my dream. i stay up sewing designs, practice drawing, and never stop dreaming of the day i hit success.
i really truly want to make it in this industry. to prove to everyone who said i couldnt, and to everyone who said i could, and most importantly, to myself.
the hard part is that i dont know where to start. this is not a career path that is accepted in our culture. i am going to school to become a teacher. but i want to be more than that. i want to be more than average. i want to get educated but i want to LIVE. i dont know.. maybe ill start a new trend in my culture... ultimate success.
i need to give this more thought. time for bed!
(praying for protesters all over the world. FREEDOM IS NOT FAR. AND PALESTINE, YOU ARE NEXT. YOU HAVE OUR SUPPORT)
Salam.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
my friends, there are no friends.
My title was a quote from Coco Chanel. Although my title contradicts what I am about to write right now, I just thought it was cool.
Since I am off of school this week, I have been home cleaning, babysitting, and just lounging around the house. It's pretty relaxing if you ask me, but there is a point where a girl needs to be with her friends. That is just what I did today. Me and my friends were going to watch a movie but instead, since we had a lot to talk about, we decided to stop at a resturaunt to eat and talk. We talked about our boy problems, embarrassing moments, jokes, death, other girls; you know. girl stuff. It was really therapeutic even though my mom kept texting for me asking me of my whereabouts.
Friends are pretty crucial in a girls life. They help a girl get through the toughest times that sometimes a family cant help with. Dont get me wrong, I love my family, they're my everything, but theres some things where a girl needs her girl friends for!
Im blessed to have my friends, we have all been through so much, and I love them no matter what!
God bless and thanks for reading!
{praying for protesters in middle east}
Friends are pretty crucial in a girls life. They help a girl get through the toughest times that sometimes a family cant help with. Dont get me wrong, I love my family, they're my everything, but theres some things where a girl needs her girl friends for!
Im blessed to have my friends, we have all been through so much, and I love them no matter what!
God bless and thanks for reading!
{praying for protesters in middle east}
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
make me happy :)
Today I woke up in this really good mood. It was almost scary. I'm still in a good mood right now! Everythings just been going right for me lately. I'm kinda scared that God is setting me up for something... like "Here Jenna, enjoy these last couple days before you get in a car crash" or "before you get in trouble with your parents", or "before your future goes downhill". I know its sad but its so weird... have you ever been in an amazing mood but something is holding you back? Thats exactly how I am right now. I guess i just gotta take a deep breath, sit back and enjoy life because I really don't know whats coming. Maybe I am being over dramatic, maybe something is going to happen, but that is no excuse to hold me back from being happy.
I had a really long conversation with my cousin (shout out!), and talking to her, and giving her advice made me realize that life is short to be anything but happy. I gotta live life for ME. No one should change just because other people are changing. One should change because they have the ultimate desire. After senior year of high school, I really want to work on finding myself. Me and my mother are planning to travel, just me and her. That is the exact therapy I need. I learn about all these places overseas like Italy, Rome, France, Egypt, and all these other exotic places, I've been so inspired. We watch these slideshows of these places; while others are dozing off in class, I am wide awake in astonishment wondering, Wow, how did the ancient Greeks create such a perfect statue like that without any technical help? I seriously get so amazed. Its so inspiring for me to go out and make something amazing myself! I really want to leave a mark in this world, I may not be as amazing as the Greeks were, but I at least want to be remembered for something. Time is a terrible thing to waste... Along with a mind.
Thanks for your support!
SHOUT OUT TO ALL THE PROTESTERS ALL AROUND THE WORLD. I AM TRULY AMAZED BY YOUR COURAGE.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
inspiration comes from.....
i put a lot of thought into this whole "inspiration"concept. It comes from everywhere; The people we share our lives with, what we see on TV, the things going on around us, and all that stuff. I was watching Al Jazeera with my parents and the way protesters took a stand on what they believed in was really inspiring to me. I really wanna make something of myself in this world. I want to leave a mark and actually play a significant role in others lives, not just for my satisfaction, but so I know that my time on earth was spent wisely and everything I've been through is worth it.
I was also watching TV on my own, just some random shows, and I got so inspired by some of the friendships that were shown, and now I really want to be a good friend as i saw on TV. also the love relationships they have were amazing to watch. i hope one day that i would find someone who I can confide in.
I realized one can be inspired by anything. So now i feel refreshed and I will carry on with my sewing and my art stuff.
And I will be sure to post pictures of what i make!
thanks for your support :)
I was also watching TV on my own, just some random shows, and I got so inspired by some of the friendships that were shown, and now I really want to be a good friend as i saw on TV. also the love relationships they have were amazing to watch. i hope one day that i would find someone who I can confide in.
I realized one can be inspired by anything. So now i feel refreshed and I will carry on with my sewing and my art stuff.
And I will be sure to post pictures of what i make!
thanks for your support :)
Monday, February 21, 2011
What inspires you?
as im sitting here doing my art homework, i cant help but feel so unfocused... so uninspired. is it the distractions around me? is it the mood im in? is it that i need to look deeper for inspiration?
i dont know what it is, and i will never know. maybe thats what i need to figure out for myself. from now on i will look at things in a deeper way. maybe thatll help.
i really want to get back in touch with my sewing machine but the inspiration is goneeeee. i really wanna make a clothing like with a WOW factor. last summer i had sooooo much inspiration. its just gone. what was it? love? life? the carefreeness? the WARM weather?
well, until next time, ill be staring at my closet thinking of what the next big thing will be.
i dont know what it is, and i will never know. maybe thats what i need to figure out for myself. from now on i will look at things in a deeper way. maybe thatll help.
i really want to get back in touch with my sewing machine but the inspiration is goneeeee. i really wanna make a clothing like with a WOW factor. last summer i had sooooo much inspiration. its just gone. what was it? love? life? the carefreeness? the WARM weather?
well, until next time, ill be staring at my closet thinking of what the next big thing will be.
The most beautiful video ive ever seen.
So many revolutions are happening in the middle east. I am so proud to call myself an arab right now. I honestly from the bottom of my heart wish i was there right now. Me and my parents watch the satallite in astonishment as we see the the revolution take place before our very eyes. "The middle east will never be the same", "This is history in the making", "we had ENOUGH". Those words bring me to tears. Our people are fighting for what we believe in. I wish I was there fighting with them. I wish there was something I can do. All i can do is pray. And spread awarness. I am praying for every single person who is fighting, dying, bleeding for their country. may God help them as well.
watch this amazing video. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1b9yHyrlUMI&feature=player_embedded#at=166
watch this amazing video. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1b9yHyrlUMI&feature=player_embedded#at=166
Hey
I made a blog before and wrote about my life and actually thought people would find that interesting; I was also 13. But now, I am committed. I am 18 and learned so much over the past few years. I perceive life in a completely different way. Every day I try to learn something new, and i think the stuff I do learn is worth sharing. I am pretty excited to be writing this, I cant lie. I have so many ideas on what to do but i really want to make this spontaneous upon each day. I am planning on writing about my daily lessons and encounters I have with the world. Yeah... that sounds good. I hope to make this interesting so you will keep coming back, so here it goes.
Since I'm on break from school, I have a lot of time on my hands. I waste it on watching reruns of tv shows, but Im going to change that.... I'll let you know how that goes.
visit me on my twitter page until then! twitter.com/jenmakesdresses
Since I'm on break from school, I have a lot of time on my hands. I waste it on watching reruns of tv shows, but Im going to change that.... I'll let you know how that goes.
visit me on my twitter page until then! twitter.com/jenmakesdresses
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)